Go!

I'm really bad at keeping up with this blog.
Well, since the last blog I've been discouraged and encouraged in so many ways. I have 3 bags of coats and jackets in my garage. So, I'm ready to go to New Orleans with those. The yardsale was a huge fail and only made $20...BUT that day I got a check in the mail from a friend from summer project. And the next week I got another check from a girl I've only met once in New Orleans. God never fails to amaze me. I'm still wondering how I'm going to do this in New Orleans by myself. I wanted it to be a every-other week thing, but I haven't even gone once. My heart hasn't changed, but I guess I've been in this state of confusion and discouragement. I pray that God keeps using people around here and that we start loving the people in New Orleans that have no one and nothing.

On another note, I just got back from winter conference. The theme was "Revolution" so of course I went being really excited...but it wasn't what I expected. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot and the speakers and worship was GREAT! But, not once did they mention anything other than campus ministry...I know I know...it IS Campus Crusade for Christ, but there is ministry outside of campus, especially with a name like Revolution. Last year at winter conference is when I learned about the inner city summer projects and they had a big meeting about it...this year, the meeting wasn't listed in the book and the announcement was lame. I went to the meeting and there were 2 girls there. So, Sam and I took a bunch of fliers and asked the people in charge if we could put them on the chairs along with other fliers. They said they would call Sam and let them know...they never called. So, we sat on a chair in the hotel and Sam yelled about the summer project and no one was interested. I'm not biased to New York inner city Summer Project, but "they" wouldn't even give it a shot. On a good note, the worship was awesome. I always get the most out of worship...I feel closest to God. The last night I broke down during worship. I am a crier, but I hadn't cried in a while and I had a lot on my mind this week. I knew I needed to make decisions in a couple things and it hurt. I'm so thankful for Sam and how much she comforted me. At conference God taught me a lot about the power of prayer. He taught me how His love is more than enough...it's the only love I need.

During that meeting I did get a chance to talk to a woman I briefly met while I was in New York (she started the art track)...When she found out that I do photography, she started getting really excited and told me about different intern opportunities there are in New York..one being an internship with a professional photographer who teaches photography to dominican kids in the inner city. THAT sounds amazing to me. Part of me was more excited than ever, and another part of me thought "oh boy just another 'option' I have." So, I'm going to be in contact with her.

I'm currently filling out my summer project application and I'm stuck on where to go. Last year I knew God wanted me in New York, but this year I have NO IDEA where He wants me. I've been learning that God isn't always going to be so clear as to where He wants me, and I just have to GO and He will use me. In that case, there are so many things I want to do. My heart is still in New York so I could student staff (I'm applying for that) or any other inner city project I could student staff. Then there is New Orleans and working. A huge part of me wants to go overseas, but I don't know where. Whatever I do I know God is going to use me and teach me great things, it's just a matter of me surrendering and stop being so indecisive.

I was reading Jesus for President and it was so hard for me to read on a daily basis...so I bought 8 books this week. I don't read much, but one thing I want to do in 2010 is start reading more. One book I got was "When God Writes Your Love Story" and I'm ready for it to change my life like it changed Sam's. I need it to in that area. I'm ready to learn so much about God having the pen in my love life.

If you know me and you are reading this...(I don't even know if anyone reads this) you can probably tell that I'm tired, stressed, confused, and pretty down...my words are different and I don't sounds excited. It's because I am. So, if anyone is reading this...I just ask that you pray for me and with me. That I will allow God to use me and send me someplace great. And that no matter where my heart is that I let Him use me on my college campus.